Sony’s E3 2016

I think the word “Yup” perfectly captures my reactions to Sony’s E3 conference. It’s rather difficult for me to really elaborate with more than just a stoic, resounding “Yup”. What I mean is that nothing really stood out to make me lose my shit or run around all excited like I was 6 years old again and thankfully, nothing pissed me off either (like Microsoft). There were a few games that I am looking forward to and interestingly enough a couple surprises too. So I think I’ll list off what I am looking forward to from the conference and then offer some thoughts about the presentation.

  1. God of War

    I have played all the God of War games to date. What I can say is that Kratos is a damn moron who is so completely unlikable. Yet his games are really cool. I love the fast fluid combat and the feeling of being an overpowered dumb piece of shit who seems to think his vengeance is justified (Ya did it to yourself Kratos. You really did. No one forced you to kick down a door to some house and swing with reckless abandon) So with this game I am eager to see where they take this character and to see if he is still a dumb piece of shit (I’m willing to bet he probably is).
  2. Horizon Zero Dawn

    Last year I saw this game get announced and I believe it had a small trailer. Well this year we got more of a look at it. It seems really interesting but a bit redundant. It’s essentially a 3rd person shooter/adventure with scavenging added. We have played this game before. However, I am still interested in the main character Aloy. There are not enough female leads in games and this is a very refreshing take on a tried and true gameplay style. So I’m very invested in finding out who Aloy is and what her story turns out to be.
  3. Resident Evil 7

    After the shit-show that was apparently Resident Evil 6 (I have yet to play it but I have not heard good things), RE7 was the last thing I expected to see. Naturally as a fan of the series I am excited…but to be honest I’m not too impressed with what I saw. It’s in 1st person with seemingly nothing to do with any of the old cast. Personally I’m waiting for the return of cool guy BILLY COEN. But sadly that probably will never happen. Anyway the game so far seems like Capcom looked at PT when it was alive, saw Konami grind it into dust and then went…”Well we can do that can’t we?”
  4. Final Fantasy XV

    I love Final Fantasy. I grew up with the series. Currently I am replaying Final Fantasy VIII because of how much I enjoyed it when I was young. XV on the other hand looks really dumb and obnoxious. Also why is every playable character male? It should be called sausage fest XV. But whatever. I’ll reserve judgement for when it comes out and I play it. I just hope I enjoy it more than XIII. I still have nightmares about that game. I fucking hate Snow. Holy shit does he just ruin the game. OH FFXV also is supporting PlayStation VR. More on that in a bit.
  5. The Crash Bandicoot remakes
    Yeah this was announced. I was kind of excited and then I got a little worried since Crash is technically still owned by Activision so who the hell knows how that is gonna turn out. But I was excited for about 3 seconds there Sony. Hoh shit was I.
  6. The Last Guardian

    My only reaction was “oh shit it’s still real!”. Here’s hoping the game lives up to the hype surrounding it.
  7. Death Stranding

    IT’S HIDEO KOJIMA’S NEW GAME HOLY SHIT! I’m happy for him I really am. He’s one of my favorite game designers and Metal Gear inspired this here site of mine so yeah I’m so excited for Kojima-senpai! I just wish he could have told us more about the game beyond the name and that we could have seen more than Norman Reedus’ ass. It looks better then Danny DeVito ass, so that’s a plus I guess. That’s about it.

Sony let their vast showcase of games impress everyone. They didn’t even mention the Neo. Probably because they had a feeling that it would slap early adopters in the face, like Microsoft did. Funny how lately all Sony has to do to succeed is go the EXACT opposite way of Microsoft. However if there was one thing I did not enjoy about the presentation it was the segment on VR. I am a VR skeptic. I don’t care how many games you put on the damn thing because if it’s $400 for a friggen helmet in addition to the cost of the console I’m looking at a total investment of anywhere from $700-$800 dollars. Plus when the PlayStation Neo comes out it’ll probably be more expensive as a console so the overall investment for PlayStation VR comes in pretty close to $1000. No way in hell am I spending that. Whatever. Look VR seems to be the thing that the tech industry is forcing down our throats. It’s gonna be everywhere so for now I get to be an enraged Media Scholar as I look for a cane to wave in the air while I act bitter like an old man complaining about new tech sucking us dry. I will end this by saying for all my complaining Sony has convinced me to want a PlayStation 4 so hopefully sometime soon I can pick one up. I need to play Persona 5 when that drops. I would have mentioned it but it was not in the conference so yeah.

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